Saturday, March 9, 2013

Funding and Expenses

We've been doing our research and some solid legwork these past few days, but through it all the lack of awareness still amazes me. I don't think, despite my efforts, people truly realize the expense related to adoption. I've heard a lot of comments since we started our journey that question why we're trying to adopt if we "can't afford" to pay the fees. Well, the same logic I guess could be applied to buying a house or a new car. Why bother buying it if you can't afford to pay for it outright? Hmm? Because it's stupid to even think that you could save up enough money to make such a large purchase and pay in cash. Why on earth do people think adoption is any different? A lot of people don't realize that adoption is so expensive that the majority of adoptive families can't do it without fundraisers, donations and grants. It's just possible.

Who has between $1,000 and $5,000 for a home-study to be completed? Or $15,000 for agency fees? Or another $5,000 -10,000 for attorneys fees? Let's not even discuss the thousands of dollars international adoptions require for visas, airfare, lodging and other untold expenses. Who has access to that kind of money?? We sure don't, and I've never heard of a non-celebrity adoptive family being able to do it.

On that note, Adam and I have discussed going through Catholic Charities for our adoption. Information has been requested from them and should arrive in the mail sometime next week. A close friend's brother was adopted, and their parents worked with Catholic Charities years and years ago to find their son. They have told us over and over that they had a wonderful experience and are such big advocates of Catholic Charities, because they help families who don't have access to those thousands of thousands of dollars. They do, or at least did a long time ago, work on a sliding scale to make it more accessible to the average American family.

I found out that they do things a little bit different than most agencies too. Instead of immediately placing a child with the adoptive family, they retain custody of the child for thirty days and then turn over the rights, because in NY, birth parents have a thirty day window to reclaim their rights and Catholic Charities has found that by holding onto the child for this window saves the families a lot of unneeded anxiety. 

Personally, I think this is amazing, and I am completely willing to give up those first few weeks to know that when we find our baby, no one and nothing can ever separate us.

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